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I still remember the day I was in the waiting area of the airport watching Tik striding towards the security check until he faded away from my sight. He didn't even turn his head back and wave his hand to me. I suddenly felt ridiculous. This is such a typical film noir scene. Maybe it is the fate that he is a kind of mirage, spectacular but virtual, watchable but not reachable, something I'll never be able to rein, and at the end he will fade away from my life like never existed. ( S% M7 u+ p' \' q1 u; k, L) d
I was shocked by my thoughts. I struggled to take my mind off that. We had such a great time together and he is such a perfect man! ‘No! It's not going to happen like that! At least I'm an intelligent woman living in 21st century! I'm not going to fall for such a superstition!’ I said to myself.
: T* E/ s( F1 h% G I'm really regretting having gone to the airport since I'd never done that before. I've been thinking that if I didn't travel such a long way, spending the whole day going and coming just for accompanying him for the ten minutes before he boarded, would things not happen like this? The pain is like a burn spreading in my chest, and frustrating me.
) s6 P; b+ J0 S) T. K Just a moment ago, he rang me up. ) X7 D7 e: {, e- L6 c, g
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“There is something I have to tell you…” He sounded a bit prunes and prism.
! J# T# W7 X& c, V# p% Y“Ok?" I had a bad feeling.; Q7 Y5 p& o. @% J
“Are you ready?” He didn't want to say, but he had to say.
. O& P5 |% u8 Y u“Yes?” No! Don't tell me don't tell me! 9 |# V! s3 I% G; |% }# [" ?5 U
“Ready?”Really that difficult to say. 9 P, S+ b" v+ r+ Q& r. s
“Ready...” What ever happened I have to know.
% M3 X& D& S* p. f/ [# W8 T“She is pregnant…” I'm sorry! I'm really so sorry!
3 a/ r x) o5 |9 Q Faint. Breathless. Speechless. I felt like lost in the middle of the ocean at night without a moon. Total darkness. But I couldn't give up without a fight. 5 _1 }; |& j$ C- l9 t0 [8 w
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“Are you kidding?”Tell me that's not true. / ^; k. _# z5 ^/ { G9 I- F% |5 w% e2 u
“No, it's true…”If it's not true, do you think I would ever kid about things like that? % d( m' S. i9 ?# q" X. c. _4 M
“Are you sure it's yours?”How could you! 8 B/ E( T! M8 J& `0 D
“Who else could be…”I wish someone else did it!
* i( [, G5 N1 v& z0 U: d8 A* |“Seven years she'd never got pregnant, why this time?!”I was sill struggling to accept that.
7 B1 Y! {. ?" K6 z6 V$ n1 U“…”I don't know what to say. God knows! 4 u; ^1 T0 t' V0 X4 c" f
“How old is it now?”since it's already happened, then let's think about how to deal with it.
" o3 w4 T8 F$ A# G+ [ _, x5 D# B“3 months and half…” What should I do and what could I do?
+ ~$ h* U% o+ j3 q- E) |“And she just told you? Why didn't she tell you earlier?” Are you sure she didn't lie to you?
9 n; k- {/ ^- e5 q“She rang me a couple of times before, asking me when I'd go back to Bangkok, 'cause she's got very important things to discuss with me. And she insisted on talking to me face to face in person. I went back yesterday and just knew. She was crying her eyes out, asking me what we are going to do about it.” It seems she's not lying. And I know her every well. She wouldn't lie about things like that.
/ A" z' g9 q5 o0 z" \2 N“So…what do you want to do now? It's already more than 3 months now… she's 30 years old and that's her first baby…” It's too cruel for her to have an abortion… But I don't want to lose you!! J; M$ e( S0 f" m. `. E0 M/ ~, I9 c; E
“I don't know...it is totally unexpected…I have to think…” I wanted to scream and shout to him, letting my manner going outrageous, but I didn't dare, because I really don't have the right to blame him. “Anyway, how's it going with your husband?” : w- n$ N1 \0 D `. r& g
“I had a word with him, he agreed to divorce, but didn't agree with the assets division.” Every time when he asked about my husband, I felt unbearably guilty. & k9 i% s( {% E! A2 D9 V. C' R
“Ok…” He sounded disappointed. 3 C9 V: a& w$ h/ K3 D9 V. E
“When will you come again?” I'm desperate to see him after the bad news. And I've not seen him for more than a month since the last time he came to see me in shanghai as he works in Hongkong.
1 }( S* D# I1 G$ e6 b% f5 n8 n“I'll go to U.S. for the Annual Manager Conference next week for 10 days. I'll come to see you when I'm back.” Sometimes I really don't know what is the most important thing for him in his life. : q& v+ [2 k5 ~) i: x
“OK, I'm missing you.”What else I could say and what else I could do?
9 b3 }# c b9 I! N% s" m- I“Me too, and I love you.” That's the best words to console my broken heart at that moment, despite its authenticity.
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I've seen her picture when I was only chatting with him through QQ before we met. She is very good looking like a movie star, an Engineer, from a very rich family, one year younger than him, his classmate when he was doing his First degree in Engineering. The only imperfection is that she's short, only 158cm. But it doesn't matter, because he is 175cm. Everybody thinks they are a perfect match.
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5 y9 x5 N+ M( S I never deny that even after I fell in love with him at first sight.4 x8 K9 _8 j2 V4 {
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Please see 2A at (click): 【08.06.17】【Serial】Naked Diamond (2A)
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[ 本帖最后由 helendai 于 2008-7-4 12:50 编辑 ] |
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